Scallywag

Trust is a dependency issue.

~ Edwin H Friedman ~

When You’re Neither Here Or There

September 19th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 0 secs

If we are too busy to be in the moment where exactly are we?

Look around you and you’ll find people neither here or there. Technically, they are somewhere, but it’s not necessarily in any one place.

Many people are comfortable with this. They feel fine rushing heedless across city streets tuned to music, or watching downloads and texting, whilst talking to their friend as they hurtle along a highway. We’ve grown so accustomed to doing a few things at once it’s normal.

But there is a price. Immersing our selves in music, story, messaging, reading, or some other distraction keeps our mind stimulated. But it also detaches us from a sense of place. Not being connected to where we are and not entirely positioned where our friends are, we are neither here or there.

Instead, we inhabit a place in our head: a location incidental to where we are physically. We are somewhere, but our whereabouts barely matter.

At this stage, I can hear someone saying, “And your point is? I’ve got a zillion things to do and people to talk to, so why should it matter where I am? I mean, isn’t that the wonder of global communication?  We’re not “neither here or there” we’re everywhere!”

To me, experiencing a sense of place is part of feeling like we belong. Providing you fit somewhere, occasionally feeling like you don’t belong is probably a good thing. Why? Well, having a connection with the present in the place you’re really in is powerful. Your body, occupying a specific space, is linked to that place. So, that, with your senses, you can soak up the moment. Feeling the flow of warm or chill air against your exposed skin, and the texture the ground beneath your feet, you’re no longer “neither here or there”. You are completely present.

Discovering in the shades of light and the mingling of sounds all around you might seem like gibberish to some. Yet, I believe engaging is a significant contributor to happiness and wellbeing. By contrast, the numbness that comes from feeling neither here or there, or anywhere in particular is harder to pin down. Compared to the obvious wonders of communication technology, presence is subtle. So I can understand why some would say, “Shouldn’t we just be thankful for our hi-tech distractions and adapt?”

Well, we do have a lot to be grateful for, and technology can be great. But if we inhabit space without feeling it and live as if in perpetual motion, we are missing the pleasure of our senses. Eventually, that not only creates a “neither here or there unhappiness”, it’s actually dangerous. To be able to engage in the present gives us a richness and the ability to more capable. By being in every here and sensing it, you’re doing something very few do. You are living life incredibly well.

 

Feegs

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