When Good Looking Is Ugly
Visiting a place like Phuket in Thailand it’s impossible not to notice the emphasis on good looks. Being a beach culture the emphasis is on good times, partying, and physicality. So it’s such a shame that it can be so ugly.
How can attractive looks translate into ugliness? Well, for far too many people the idea that you are what you look like dominate their mind. Unable (or unwilling) to see people as inherently valuable in themselves, they rate worth by looks.
So, if you are very fit and have a gorgeous appearance, then you matter. If not, then you take a ticket to join the steep sliding scale downwards to worthlessness.
How ugly! Yet, its prevalence is widespread. The wife or girlfriend who feels she has to “out look” the competition, lest her partner will depart is under intense pressure. Because looks leave and if they have invested in little else then there isn’t much holding thee couples together.
Similarly, the man who keeps catching his reflection in the mirror (just to check how wonderfully good looking he is) may win favorable attention. But he is already a train wreck. How? By focusing on himself and being consumed by vanity, his capacity to live with dignity and character is already shrinking.
Ugliness comes in many guises and, of course, visual unattractiveness is undesirable. Yet in terms of all things horrid, appearance is the mere tip of the iceberg.
For those blessed by good looks, by all means enjoy them while they last. But never for a moment succumb to the shallowness of putting personal worth on how you (or anyone else looks). This sentences people to a life of appalling mediocrity (which, of course, is the very thing people obsessed with appearances believe they escape).
In this respect, three factors come to your aid:
- Maturity – which helps you see beyond superficiality as well as attempts to impress.
- A culture of seeing people as important in their own right, regardless of who they are or aren’t.
- Your personal values.
If this all seems hard, then read my book. It will put this part of your outlook into fresh perspective and you will find it easier to go beyond attractiveness.
So next time someone looks you up and down with disdain, consider what is happening in a broader context. That person is trapped in an ugly cycle of limited vision, insecurity, and conceit. Now ask yourself: which of you is plagued with the biggest problem?
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