Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

~ Robert Anthony ~

When a Man Loves a Glue Gun

February 2nd, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 29 secs

With my beloved glue gun nothing seemed too difficult.

First up, I want to tell you the facts. I am no longer in love with my glue gun. Those crazy days of sticking together teacups, handles, and veneers are history. No more. I’ve stopped. But it was good for a time, and I admit I loved it.

Broken coffee cup handle? No problem. Oh, and you’ll love having that cracked teapot back in one piece. Thanks to my beloved glue gun I can fix them in a jiffy.

So peeling corners, tatty mats, and those all important wobbly knobs quickly succumbed to the power of my hot glue gun. “This is brilliant,” I thought. I could see that finally my hidden handyman skills were at last being revealed.

And they were. For a time. Then things started coming horribly unstuck. Good jobs wouldn’t stay that way. Lovely little globs of glue, carefully squeezed into crevice cracks, began revealing everything they lacked. Handles dropped off. Pots shattered, and neat veneers began unpeeling. Suddenly, I was living a glue gunner’s nightmare of sticky proportions. Pretty soon, the man who loved his glue gun became the silly man deluded by glue gun mania. I could see my glue-gunning days were history.

So now, you no longer see me fix a chip, or try to glue a crack. Lifted surfaces can come adrift if needs be. I daren’t add to the woes of busted household bits or pretend to have the skills I admit I clearly lack. Better just to throw it all and keep my dignity intact. After all, recycling is a good thing. I’m helping the cause. And I love doing my bit for the environment. Anything to avoid those embarrassing fixing chores. It may have been sudden love, but without the right stuff, the infatuation between me and my glue gun was never going to be enough. Without a lifelong bond, the somewhat useless glue gun and I were destined to be doomed from the start. So if ever a helping friend brings it up, all I can say is that tacky tool and I have quietly drifted apart.



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