Scallywag

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

~ Maya Angelou ~

What Celebrities Share My Birthday (Warning: Contains Traces of Nuts)

June 10th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 29 secs

Which celebrities share your birthday?

I was going to do a whole post on “what celebrities share my birthday”; that sort of thing. But then I started thinking about it. Yes, everybody wants to know if some famous star, celebrity, or person of prestige sharing their birthday. But what about all the nasty people of fame?

You might be happy to know “what celebrities share my birthday” if they’re people you like. But how would you feel if you shared your special day with Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, or Idi Amin? Would you really want to know? Or would you prefer the nice version that only mentioned popular people?

Still, even that gets a bit messy. What if you discovered your special day was a match with someone you personally felt uncomfortable about? You know, that famous celebrity who consistently grates? Would you really want to know if those celebrities shared your birthday?

Every time I’ve looked in books or else on the Web, I find the most curious matches that leave me feeling confused. Well, more confused than I am normally. Should I feel proud, bathing in the apparent glory that some guy called Count Guidel Arinso blew his candles out on the same day as me, a mere 500 years earlier? Or how about Ira Schmiedel, who invented a better ball-joint?  I mean, really. How can they count these guys as celebrities sharing my birthday? But because I looked, now I know I share my birthday with a pair of strange fogies!

Can you see how this gets out of hand? You don’t really want to know who else popped out with a slap and a cry on your special day. True, such celebrities might offer a thin illusion of status. But it’s all a foil. Nobody is going to look up to you with wonder because you share the same birthdate as Phyllis Diller or Jerry Lewis. So asking “what celebrities share my birthday” just courts trouble.

What if some crime syndicate targets a certain celebrity? Suddenly, just being born on the same date becomes dangerous. You could even be snatched from your birthday bed just because of the connection. See the trouble knowing which celebrities share your birthday can cause? Now you know too much.

So don’t even ask who shares your birthday. Unless they are:

  1. Coming round to your place anyway
  2. Gifted with big lungs (handy for blowing out all those candles when you’ve got a lot), or
  3. The smiling type, who get you giggling by playfully kicking you under the table

…they don’t know you. They’re strangers. So who cares who these takers are? First they take your birthday date and claim it as theirs. Then they want to come round and eat your cake! It’s too much. When celebrities share your birthday now you know what it’s really all about. They just want to take the cake, blow out your candles, make firefighter jokes at your expense, then keep prodding you in the ribs for sport.

My advice is simple. Don’t ask, “Which or what celebrities share my birthday” or “Who keeps taking that extra slice of birthday cake?”  Just keep your head down, hunker in, and keep your birthday to yourself. Okay for friends and family, maybe. But that’s it. Because as soon as you start asking when the celebrities have their birthday dates it all  starts getting complicated. So if anyone asks when your birthday is, give them a few dates to keep them guessing. Or, mutter something about Jerry Lewis, Phyllis Diller, and how you’re getting birthday celebrity repellant. That should keep you safe.

Feegs

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