Scallywag

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

~ Mohandas Gandhi ~

Valentines Day’s Word Massacre

February 15th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 30 secs

It's never too late for a Valentines Day kiss.

It’s that time of the year again when some people go all gooey-eyed and soppy for romance sake. It’s Valentines Day.Although Australia has gone and done the Valentines Day thing, there’s still time to pledge your adoring love for your Valentine in other time zones. So hurry! There’s no time to lose! But if you choose to get into the groove, you’ve got to mash up the English language right and proper like. So don’t tell him you love him, tell him you luv ‘im, and would just be violently sick wivout ‘im.

That’s the true tacky spirit of Valentines Day Downunder.

Then there’s those poems. In the same spirit of over the top tackiness, here’s a nice example called If I Were:

If I were…

If I were a key, I would lock you;
If lightning, then I would shock you;
If I were a pier I would dock you;
If I had a band I would rock you.

If I were a spoon, I would feed you;
If I were a house, I would deed you;
On Valentine’s Day, I must plead you,
Valentine, I really need you!

By Joanna Fuchs

Is it good? No. But I have to admit, I love it. Valentines Day classifieds that say things like, “Be my Valentine or I will die coz I luvs you more than yesterday”, are classic. Born out of a sincere will to please their partner, these kitsch Valentines Day messages are full of feeling. Which is just the thing that makes them matter. Sure, your English teacher will wince and declare them total tripe and utter rubbish. But you can’t trample over people’s feelings without losing something lovely in the process.

“Babes you are my lovey dovey pooky wooky Valentine. True” will win no awards. But is there any harm in people showing their tender side? I subscribe to the view that we should all be encouraged to share tenderness. So if it takes some learning to express ourselves well, then so be it.

By the way, Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

 

 

Feegs

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