Scallywag

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

~ Bob Hope ~

They Split The Love

January 4th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 45 secs

They split the love.

When Selina, our German student, said, “They split the love”, we knew exactly what she meant. A couple had broken up.

Put in that fresh expression spoke volumes about the kind of love that binds two people together. Couple love, most people hope, is somehow different and more sustaining. That’s why coming together in a marriage relationship represents our highest belief in togetherness.

Yet, roughly a third to a half of all marriages end up splitting up. So, for many, the bond of marital love isn’t quite as enduring as they wanted it to be. But our individual complexity means relationship will always be challenging. Besides, as life unfolds, we do our own fair share of changing and some aren’t willing to remain with the “someone” their partner becomes; love or not.

This is a sad reality and it reflects the fact that love needs much more substance to it than fluttering doves and flowers. Life is tough. And when things go wrong we need more than wishes. We need help.

Every marriage hits rocks. It’s just that instead of foundering, many people work out how to push off from them and keep on sailing. In times of need, love has to be practical. So, whether that means getting good professional advice, counseling, reading, or backstop support, it’s all part of what love is willing to do to preserve and nurture.

Love also, at least ideally, is incredibly patient, and reveals a determined kindness. These merits are so compelling they brings nobility to any relationship (provided they aren’t part of some martyrdom complex). Some might see these features as weak. But choosing to live out qualities takes an enormous amount of fortitude, care, and belief.

Without envy or arrogance, any relationship can go a long way. Just as forgoing love in exchange for selfishness lets the rot set in. Blame fickle nature (it bids we follow impulse over loyalty). Whenever we walk towards it, the price is always personal hurt.

So, forget blaming love for believing in people, even when they let you down. Love isn’t flippant and deceptive. People are.

Regardless of our failings we can all improve and do better in the way we handle our side of relationship (even when it’s still not enough). Choosing a triumphant and mature way to love brings out our best and dignifies life (even when it’s in a mess).

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