Scallywag

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.

~ Robert Frost ~

The Language Of Happiness

April 21st, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 36 secs

Could happiness be closer than you think?

Could happiness be closer than you think?

Happiness needs a few tweaks to our way of thinking. But not just to thoughts, but our words.

How we speak shapes the way we think and that can make a huge difference to finding greater happiness in life.

Expressions like:

  • “It’s got to be perfect”
  • “When I get my life right”
  • “Happiness project”
  • “I want to live in a home that’s picture-perfect”
  • “My ideal guy makes me does everything to please me”
  • “As soon as we get the [whatever] done, life will be a dream”

are a red flag because they actually make happiness harder to have.

Frequent references to perfection and expectations of flawless relationships and living set us up for failure and, inevitably, disappointment. Referring to happiness as a “project” is almost an oxymoron because happiness is not a task or scheme but a way of appreciating what life has to offer. Happiness as a duty dictates putting it at arm’s length. While, ideal guys (like ideal women) simply don’t exist.

By frequently referring to happiness through absolute terms, we push satisfaction away and define it as some idealized experience to possess. Within that framework, happiness will be hard to find and more of an aspirational goal than an immediate experience.

By contrast, happiness is far more accessible when we live with qualities of character and personal meaning. An attitude of gratitude, for instance, makes it easier to see the good that already exists. Which reveals a hidden truth. Often, happiness has less to do with our efforts and more to do with observation and appreciation.

By focusing on what we recognize to be beautiful and living life with qualities like kindness, courage, generosity, openness, and wisdom, happiness comes naturally. Perhaps, not in the psychedelic sense that we are led to expect, but through a peaceful sense of satisfaction. In that respect, keeping a sustained level of inner happiness can flow right through your life despite its many ups and downs.

Will you feel bubbly all the time? No. Will you have pep in your step and always put a certain zing into everything? I don’t think so. But you will find yourself feeling much more satisfied and that is the crucial aspect to having long-term happiness.

The How Of Happiness

Can Happiness And Chaos Coexist?

What Is Happiness? How About This?

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