Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

~ Mark Twain ~

That’s Not Love

August 9th, 2014 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 49 secs

Love is for everyone.

Love is for everyone.

Since when did you have to be fabulously good looking to be lucky in love? You might not agree but an awful lot of people own that belief: hook, line, and sinker.

Entire industries depend on people believing that attractive appearance is the answer. Fortunately for them, there are plenty of vain, shallow types who look down their nose at anyone they deem to be physically inferior. So the myth continues.

And, boy, what a myth it is. Starting from a very early age we gradually discover that “good looking” is the secret to being a star, famous, desirable, successful, and completely and utterly loved.

Now that explains why your love life is passé, and why love always becomes so complicated. If you were only perfectly good looking in every way, all of your relationship problems would go away.

But, you and I know that’s not love.

Instead of longing to be fabulously attractive as a means of finding lasting love and adoration, it’s time we highlighted some of the qualities this love stuff is all about. Like accepting each other for who we are. Only real lovers do that.

While so many people seem to pick and poke at other people’s flaws, they completely skip over their own. This embarrassingly obvious blind spot makes any of us look pretty ridiculous, if we insist on expecting perfection from anyone else.

Love takes us as we are and that is inherently what it’s all about. If someone loves you until you start losing your looks and then goes elsewhere, you have to question the dimension of their love in the first place.

Real love goes way beyond how good you look. It’s about depth of appreciation, maturity, and passion based on relationship with who you are as a person. Anything less than that looks a lot more like lust and infatuation. And, while they might be fun in the short run, neither lasts the distance or offers the qualities to overcome the challenges that living a full life brings.

Simply put: anyone who judges you by your fat, wrinkles, or stretch marks is not in love with you. Instead, they would be thrilled to see you healthy and enjoying your physical self. That’s why lovers come in all shapes and sizes. Real people finding the good in each other and genuinely accepting the rest.

You can argue that love is nothing but emotion, hormones, or just plain luck. But, to me, those can only be mere ingredients. Whereas love is the full feast.

Love Goes a Long Way

Where is the Love?

What Makes a Man a Good Lover?


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