Scallywag

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

~ Tommy Cooper ~

Signals That a Man is In Love

June 24th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 33 secs

What are the telltale signals that a man is in love?

What would you say are the signals that a man is in love? A goofy grin perhaps? Or, maybe, lots of smiles, singing, and humming? It’s tricky to be precise about every man’s reaction. So lets look for clues that could be of use.

Family and friends are likely to notice most. Suddenly, a man becomes exceptionally chivalrous; opening doors, and buying flowers, chocolates, and treats for his sweetheart. These are immediate signals that a man is in love and not just happy for the sake of it. You can expect him to linger on long phone calls, finishing with lots of lip smacking kisses and “and I love you too’s.” Not to mention the sudden use of silly pet names between him and his romantic attachment. Names like pookie poo, honey dumpling, pumpkin, and baby cakes. Strange enough when anyone talks like that. But a big tall muscular man, trilling about baby cakes? That’s the first blush of love for you.

This is a phase of besotted adoration, when both a man and his “squeeze” only have eyes for each other. It’s almost as if they are intoxicated, and according to research by neuroscientists that may well be the best description. Think about how you feel about, say, chocolate and magnify the pleasure a thousand times to get the concept. Such is the intensity signaling that a man is in love.

I know in my case, being a boy of fifteen no less when I fell in love with Ruth, that nothing was too much trouble. She lived 3 miles from me in the other direction from school. So naturally I carried her bag home with her before turning round to walk back to my place. Whatever she liked, suddenly seemed important, and I wanted to like it all too! Anything she did wrong was totally forgivable. In fact, it was cute. While all other pastimes took second place, I suddenly spent most of my waking moments thinking about her. Though I was a teen, they were clearly the very same love signs that many a man in love shows.

So then what happens? Well, obviously, the utter devotion and obsession of first love isn’t sustainable. By degrees rapture gives way to love of a more enduring kind (at least, it can). Fast forward a few years and the signals that a man is in love become more subtle. A familiarity between partners emerges and, potentially, a sense of comfortable ease. Even thirty years on, I now look at Ruth not just with love, but respect. No longer a desperate fascination, love has mellowed into deep appreciation that still sends its signals, like: lingering looks, closeness, hugs, and lots of affectionate touching. Love and trust have become one, so that this one man no longer feel the need to go all goofy. Time and experience have replaced obsession with adoration. So I look at Ruth and wonder how come I’m so lucky. To me, she is still fifteen, twenty as my bride, thirty-something as a mother and fifty as my cherished lover.

So what are the signals that a man is in love? Well, taken over time, I suggest it’s in the way he looks at his wife, and the tender way he talks to her. A man in love will show strength yet be incredibly gentle, because he is directed by tenderness. With loyalty, he always looks out for his bride and strives to keep her safe. When you detect kind of admiration in a man you know he is in love. No question.

Feegs

Comments are closed.