Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.

~ Matthew Arnold (1822 - 1888) ~

Secret Squirrel

October 10th, 2011 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 15 secs

This is a secret!

Can’t say anything yet because this is top secret. Totally secret squirrel…

Just calling something secret gets attention, doesn’t it?

“Secrets to a new skin revealed!”

“Secret agent released in prisoner swap.”

“My secrets to success.”

“The hidden secret to everything revealed for only $13.95.”

Well here’s the duck’s guts: secrets are rarely what they’re cracked up to be. Sure there are hidden truths, forgotten ways, and new formulas. But really, don’t you think the whole secret thing is well and truly overdone.?

There’s nothing wrong with mentioning things as if they were secret. It gives just about anything pulling power For instance, which would you rather read, “The secret of life” or just “Life”?  Say it’s a hush-hush and we can’t help but want to know what it is. Why? Because most of us want to get the goss to see if we are missing something worth knowing.

But to me it seems that the secret approach is getting out of hand.

Consider how overdone the term has become:

  • The Secret Life of Hamsters (Do you really know what they are up to in that straw?).
  • The Secret to Cooking with Rice (People have probably died in their quest to know).
  • My Secret Love Affair With Trains (Hmm, seems to me we already know too much).

Or how about:

  • 35 Hidden Secrets of Cat 5 Cable (Try holding yourself back!)

The take home message here is that anything can be called a secret, but that doesn’t mean it ought to be. Done too much and we are just as likely to say, “Meh Schmeh! Like I really want to know!”

The secret is there aren’t many. Really. Some things ought to be brought into the light of scrutiny. But others in the public domain really should be put away, never be heard of again.

“That’s the hidden secret to life, love, and pimples. An energizing force that will make you look 40 years younger, and bring you bucket loads of money whilst you can casually file your nails, waiting for your hair to set…”

Yes, hucksters have seen the good fortune in making mystery from way back. Hang on, is that a secret? I think it is! Then it too can be yours for the paltry sum of only $999 plus postage and handling.

“Yes, this hidden force that has been passed on through the mystic positioning of lama droppings…but only if you ring now…”

You get the picture. It’s no secret that shysters do this sort of thing. But what perhaps is a secret, is that they don’t know you are wise to their tricks. Don’t let them misuse you. Refuse to fall for that sort of stuff. Be your discerning, intelligent self and dare to trust your own judgement instead. Then we can reign in the “Secret Power of Otters”, “Lungfish Secrets to Breathersizing,” and “Teach yourself Secret Mastery of the Universe by Lunchtime” with a healthily happy dose of common sense.

I could go on about this secret stuff but I better stop and keep mum. Loose lips sink potato chips and all that… Just don’t say anything, okay?

Unless you want to share your secrets thoughts here in “total privacy!” I’m all ears…



  1. Feegs says:

    So true!

  2. Naomi says:

    Ssshhhhh… they might hear you!