It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

~ Judith S Marin ~

Real Men Love Real Women

May 18th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 6 secs

Being real and reflecting qualities is definitely attractive.

Being real and reflecting qualities is definitely attractive.

What people believe and what is real can be two very different things. When it comes to attraction, both men and women have some strong ideas about what appeals to each gender. Yet, as you know, ideas can be misleading.

There’s a mighty industry that thrives on inadequacy and reliably exploit people who already feel hesitant. Whole generations are now habituated into believing that unless they look “fantastic” in a perfect sense, the other half won’t have a bar of them.

How deep this belief goes is harder to tell in an empirical sense. But this one thing I am sure: real men love real women. They cannot help but be attracted to women who are their womanly equal.

Real men appreciate women with qualities. If a woman feels comfortable in her skin, that’s definitely desirable. Because tender honesty, kindness, loyalty, and openness are appealing features, a good man will find himself drawn to a woman like that. It’s natural. But that’s not what the ads say. Nor is it what most people think.

Men only go for looks. Isn’t that the expectation? And, it’s true, some do. But everyone is different, just as every woman is too. So men with a good sense of themselves and a genuine respect and appreciation for women will be wanting more than looks alone can give.

Our present day obsession with appearance is actually a relatively recent phenomenon in modern cultures at least.  Picked up from the ancient Greek’s fixation with perfection, it has become a beauty industry cash cow that keeps on teaching our children a distorted reality. It’s a lie of massive proportions. Yet it’s here and, somehow, we’ve got to work our way around it.

A happy life relies on us being real (there is no room for deception).  So that means being our true selves in ways that highlight our strengths is our most compelling asset. Of course, there’s no denying good looks are great and it’s lovely to accent them. But if we want to draw someone to us who appreciates us as a person then they need to see the qualities in our identity.

Just as people hiding behind a hyped up image tend to flock together, real men and real women find themselves attracted to each other. So, as a woman, if you want to find men of integrity in your life, live yours. Show qualities that draw others and let your best self be evident. By all means, look as lovely as you like. But remember: while wrapping has instant appeal, it’s never enough in itself because real men love real women for all the best reasons.

Rather than get stuck on imperfections, it’s heartening to know real people want qualities. On the strength of them and an honest reflection of our failings, we can all build relationships of lasting quality. But only with others who share our integrity.

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