Seven days without laughter makes one weak.

~ Mort Walker ~

Real Comfort Takes Risks

October 23rd, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 4 secs

Can comfort come from honesty and belonging?

Can comfort come from honesty and belonging?

There’s something odd about comfort. You’d expect it’s about excluding vulnerabilities and making everything cushy. Only, that’s not a recipe for comfort but a formula for boredom.

Being comfortable has nothing to do with predictability and dreariness. Far from it. But isn’t that how it’s packaged? Except that it is forever being presented in reassuring context.

“When you buy this car your family will be safe and comfortable” “Try our affordable lounge suite and enjoy the comfort you deserve” “Within the comfort of your new home, you’ll find all the serenity and pleasure of sophisticated living that you’ve always dreamt of”.

These themes reinforce the belief that comfort means easy, relaxed living. Which it can. But not for long.

Lasting comfort comes when we take up the challenge of courageous living. Yes, it means risk. Not necessarily in base-jumping from the Empire State building or deep sea diving with just a lung full of air. I mean challenges in a social sense. One that particularly comes to mind is speaking honestly with people, rather than avoiding the possibility of conflict.

When you can say what you really believe to people there is an enormous weight taken off your shoulders. Because it means you can be yourself.

Compare that with the comfort of being “nice” and avoiding the potential for offending anyone. Everyone playing the game of acceptability ends up leaving us with gnawing feelings that perhaps we aren’t quite good enough, acceptable, or sufficiently brave to be ourselves.

How many people play the “I better not offend” game? It has got to be a big number. For surely it’s a socially acceptable way of getting by. While, speaking the truth in love as you understand it is precarious. Someone might take your candidness as a slight. Then, pretty soon, and turn the situation can deteriorate into a simmering stew of ill will.

Yet, I believe, if you really want to live with ultimate comfort, you need to dare to be yourself and speak sincerely, even if others don’t approve.

It’s difficult, isn’t it? You can’t please everyone ahead of yourself without feeling like you’ve come off second best. Far better then to take a stance of equal value and be real before others, rather than be some phony pleaser (feeling anything but content in yourself).

So, whilst a cushy couch is nice, and a comfy home is lovely, they aren’t enough. When applied with compassion and tact, boldly speaking as you think lets you be more authentic.

But better than that, the very act of risking acceptance gets us closer to the heart of comfort. For when we reveal more of our sincere nature we do two things:

  1. We ramp up the potential to be known for who we really are, and
  2. In our openness, we consciously declare that we belong.

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