Scallywag

Trust is a dependency issue.

~ Edwin H Friedman ~

Own Your Own Stories

November 26th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 13 secs

Stories we tell ourselves.

Stories we tell ourselves.

Everybody has got a story. So what’s yours? Or, more accurately, what are yours?

For we all have a brace of stories that we clutch onto. There’s the obvious chronological one that starts with something like “I was born in a very young age”. Two other accounts of episodes, stages, and versions that confirm to you what life is really like.

Many don’t get told to anyone else, in part because we don’t assemble them in need sentences, chapters, or even dot points.

They built from feelings that blur with beliefs and as such they seep through our scheme, providing unquestionable proof of how we see reality.

But first, let me peg back a bit. When you were a kid and some big teenager told you something with a straight face you believe them, didn’t you? You’re questioning filter hadn’t been fitted in yet. So, everything went in at face value.

Later, we learned how to look things down and build ideas will carefully. Now, at your current page, you’ve gathered, sifted, and created a bunch of accounts. They are your stories.

What makes these tales so vital is that they shape and filter how we think. If I secretly believe that very white skinned people are smarter than anyone sporting a 10, then “Sim Sala Bim!”. It is so. Well, it is for me. Which is to say that some stories we carry a tad trashy.

Dare I say (and this is where the conspiracy theorists lean closer to their screens), some are a product of others meaning to own a slice of you.

Fictional tales like “only really good-looking people deserve to be happy” and “fat people a weak” happened to be bestsellers. After all, how many memorize these narratives line by line, then live them as if they’re reality?

When you feel lousy, miserable, loathe your looks, and feel completely unqualified for life, you’ll find these ideas originate from stories you’ve gathered up, held onto, and kept carefully tucked away for just such reference.

You can see why it’s hard to experience happiness with stories like that, playing in endless loop fashion in your head. Some are just the mishmash of trash from media merchandising (Jingle anyone?). Whilst, others come from intense experiences of pleasure or pain. Or maybe something else made them latch onto your memory.

The reason I am raising this with you is not to dredge up bad memories or mess with your head. Rather, it’s to hand you the keys to unlock your stories and do some helpful redrafting by taking advantage of all the maturity and knowhow that you have now.

Reflect on those tales that well up in your thoughts. Especially when you’re under stress, feel down, or being besieged by fears.

Look for the mental “auto cues” and start asking questions of yourself. Not as an accusing type of interrogation. But by reflecting with wise and gentle questions that any kind friend would ask.

It’s a big topic, this story stuff – too much for one post. So I will pick this up with you again soon and call it part two. Meantime tune into your stories and think about what they are telling you.

Bring Back Family

Lost And Found

Remember When?

Feegs

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