Scallywag

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

~ Confucius ~

Love And How You Show It

October 22nd, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 23 secs

How we show love reveals our beliefs.

How we show love reveals our beliefs.

You grew up learning about love from your parents. At least, that’s the theory. But that’s not always possible. Sometimes someone else steps into your life, revealing more of a love that you can cling to.

With all the fuss about it, you’d think love was done to death. Still, many of us have a garbled view of what love looks like. Is it just sex? Is love an overblown infatuation, sweeping us to dizzy heights before dropping us down a despairing cliff? Or, is love something more down to earth, caring, and sustaining?

No prizes for guessing that I pick the latter! Unlike the firecracker and fizzle view of romantic attachment, humble love fits everyone. Whether giving or sharing, anybody at any age can appreciate simple, robust love.

I know emphasizing love like that might be novel to some. But it’s a worthy discovery. Not only does it keep you going it also warms the heart of many a lasting relationship, even when life serves up a plateful of problems.

While excitable varieties gradually fade by the wayside, love that respects, appreciates, and serves brings contentment. That in turn also feeds back into the way we treat ourselves.

Now, whether your own love experience has taken you along a rocky road or to a place of abiding comfort in your life, we have choices. Being grown up, at this point, what you say and do is up to you, and how you show love and receive it is a matter of your choosing.

So if you long to have the appreciation of others and their affections then you need to first give these away in spades. Though it takes time for others to recognize, this outpouring creates a climate that others are drawn to.

Indeed, the way we show love reveals everything we secretly believe.

Ask most folk about love and they will have plenty to say on the matter. But it’s not what’s said but what we practically demonstrate that really speaks.

As kids, we grew up watching how much our parents (and the parents of others) demonstrated love toward each other. Watching with wide, expectant eyes we observed our parents’ version of love for each other. Just as we watched how well our parents treated friends and relatives.

We sifted out the platitudes and made sense of what love must really be, whether it was well demonstrated or not. Based on that formative experience, we learned to believe what we see. We realized love that isn’t shown cannot be known.

Today, we are the parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and family friends. Now, we are the ones demonstrating to wide-eyed little ones what love looks like.

For so many reasons, I heartily recommend the simple tenderness of togetherness and affection. It’s a love that grows with you and, if you are brave enough, can help you face incredible hardships and sacrifice.

That’s the love that sticks with you, no matter what. It makes you beautiful too – even when you’re feeling as ugly as homemade lye soap.

Squirrel it away and it becomes nothing.  But the moment you show it, you find it comes to life. So there’s no need to believe everything we hear. Love is here, fundamental and encouraging. And every time we show it, we declare in our own personal way just what love is.

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