Scallywag

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

~ Mother Teresa ~

Looking for Love

April 19th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 52 secs

Looking for love? Remember the value of your long term friendships.

Looking for love? Remember the value of your long term friendships.

It’s surprising where people go looking for love. In the process, they hang out in all sorts of places that can easily leave them feeling lonelier still.

“Love” of course is too small a word to shoehorn so many meanings into. So, I’ll cherry pick the kind I mean. “Looking for love” in this case could be about finding a partner to spend your life with. Or, it might also mean finding people to care for who consistently care about you (which means love needn’t always be a romantic attachment).

While some head over to bars and clubs to find out who is there, others try online, hit the party scene, or network through friends. Whether it’s though these means or else via work, church, or some other place actually doesn’t matter. In every case, the desire that sends us looking for love is compelling. While some may be dismissive, this drive for togetherness and acceptance takes all of us out of our comfort zone (and sometimes right round the world) to find the type of love that’s true for us. Which makes our longing an unparalleled force.

What drives this desire? Quite apart from our more obvious passionate urges, I believe, deep down, we long to loved and possess a compelling desire to belong. Looking for love taps into a deep wellspring of needs that may or may not be satisfied. But, they bubble up to the surface all the same through that despairing sensation we call loneliness.

That’s why where people go looking for love is less crucial than how they care. For what we express makes a world of difference to everyone else as well as ourselves. In accepting others and giving them a sense of belonging, we grease the wheels that do something special. We make our tiny part of the world a kinder, more friendly place.

Life isn’t principally about finding the hottest partner, the richest, or whatever else. We can quite happily build an essential sense of togetherness with the people we regular meet. So that everyone who knows you can appreciate your hospitality and warmth in the here right now, rather than feel compelled to go roaming the globe looking for them. People can appreciate belonging and being believed in right where they are, whether they’re “in a relationship” or not.

Looking for love doesn’t need to focus on finding the ideal partner. In fact, it can find a chunk of its expression here, through good people like you who make people feel loved, and just as importantly, at home.

Love As An Island

Love Looking For What?

Where Is The Love?

Feegs

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