You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

~ Dr Seuss ~

It’s Only Words

November 24th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 22 secs

He is making these all up isn't he?

He is making these all up isn’t he?

Maybe it’s my hearing or else my head, but I get words muddled up. Especially when I hear songs.

As a teenager at church I thought I the refrain for Rejoice In The Lord Always was, “Ring Joy-ce, Ring Joy-ce, and again I sing ring Joice” instead of  “Re-joice, Re-joice, and again I say re-joice”.

Just like the hymn “Bringing in the Sheaves”, which I thought was “Bringing in the sheets”.

Then, come Christmas, I lustily sang,

While shepherds washed their socks by night…” instead of,

While shepherds watched their flocks by night…”

So you can tell I have a few problems. Though, there’s a posher name for it than that. They’re called “mondogreens” (sorry, “mondegreens”), which are a kind of malapropism (not that it matters).

Except to say it proves I’m not the only one. People everywhere (and, come on, confess, you know who you are), unintentionally sing songs with the wrong words.

I once heard a little girl sing, “Dick the horse eats bowls of holly” for “Deck the halls with boughs of holly”. But grownups do it too.

To prove it, here are just a few green mondies for you (oh, and before you read these, I apologize in advance…):

“She’s got a chicken to ride” (or: “She’s got a tick in her eye”)

for, “She’s got a ticket to ride”


“All my luggage, I will send to you”

for “All my loving, I will send to you”


Michelle, Ma Belle,

Sunday Monkey Play No Piano Song,

No Piano Song”

for “Michelle, ma belle,

Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,

Tres bien ensemble


“The girl with colitis goes by”

for “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes”

The Beatles


“Are you going to starve an old friend?”

for, “Are you going to Scarborough Fair?”

Simon & Garfunkel


Baking carrot biscuits” (or “Tape it to a biscuit”)

for, “Taking care of business”

Bachman-Turner Overdrive’sTakin Care Of Business”


“Dirty deeds done to sheep”.

for, “Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap”.



“Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby”

for, “Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby”

Juice Newton’sAngel of the Morning”


“Reverend in blue jeans”

for,  “Forever in blue jeans”


“You hardly talk to me anymore, when I Kung Fu the door at the end of the day”

for, “You hardly talk to me anymore, when I come through the door at the end of the day”

Neil Diamond


“Sweet dreams are made of cheese”

for, “Sweet dreams are made of this”



“Donuts make my brown eyes blue”

for, “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue”

Crystal Gale


The ants are my friends, they’re blowing in the wind”

for, “The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind”

Bob Dylan


“When the rainbows clean, you’ll know”

for, “When the rain washes you clean you’ll know”

Fleetwood Mac


“Stuffing my face with his fingers”

for, “Strumming my fate with his fingers”

Roberta Flack


“You made the rice, I made the gravy”

for, “You may be right, I may be crazy”

Billy Joel


“Hit me with your pet shark”

for “Hit me with your best shot”

Pat Benatar

“I’ll never leave your pizza burning”

for, “I’ll never be your beast of burden”

Rolling Stones

How To Love Funny English

My German Shopping Disaster

Kids Talk






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