Scallywag

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

~ Edward De Bono ~

How Confident Are You?

January 23rd, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 3 mins, 23 secs

I'm so confident, I can hit a home run with these flowers!

Confidence matters. It always has. But now, as we live through more uncertainty and instability than ever, we can see that confidence equals stability. Yet it has one more property.  Being confident was, is, and always will be the bedrock for a truly happy life.

Understandably in troubled times, we look to our leaders, hoping we can be confident in them to sort out the mess affecting us. But focusing on politicians is hardly an inspiring experience. Politics can’t help but be chock-full of promise and diet light on delivery. To be fair, today’s major international problems are not strictly the fault of the current crop of politicians. Instead, most of our difficulties “were prepared earlier” and have been bubbling away for years.

Back before 2008, when people were feeling rather confident about the world economy, nobody but insiders knew what was really cooking. So people indulged, cruised, and splurged. Well, some did. The rest of us simply got on with daily living.

Now though, with the home mortgage meltdown in the US, and European banks (and even nations) teetering on going bust, few would feel confident about anything economic. Whether you’re living the high life or a simply getting by life, most of us are none too sure what’s next. According to the financial experts, we are undergoing a period of economic instability. That means put your belt on.

But I wonder how much the international stuff touches your confidence overall. Are you alarmed? Or have you chosen to block it out by switching off from the doom and gloom news in favor of something better?

I try to. At least sometimes. I reckon too much of that stuff can wear down even the heartiest of souls. What we really need is balance.  So, for contrast, you could try www.happynews.com, which is a Texas-based news site specifically dealing with everything upbeat.  Then you can enjoy being silly and revel in the crazy antics of that perennial favorite, www.icanhascheezburger.com. Their captioned critters remind me that, no matter what, pets can teach us a lot.

Such diversions are good for you and well worth exploring for their own sake. But of course they won’t make you a confident person. In fact, quite apart from ignoring bad news, no amount of good news and happy times will ever make you confident. For that, you need to have drawn some important conclusions about yourself. Like, working out whether your self-worth is based on something strong or not.

Knowing why you matter is such a crucial issue I decided a blog post or two on the topic would never do. Instead, I will give you a range of practical answers in my soon to be released book, Happy: How To Have a Beautiful Life Now. As the missing link to finding personal happiness, discovering powerful reasons to believe in your self are central.

Of course, any attempt to be geed up won’t gel if we feel we don’t deserve what’s good. Just as feeling confident can’t merely rest on successes either. Doing so puts you on an endless merry-go-round of having to prove you are okay. As a basis for being a confident person, it has all the stability of sand on a rising tide. You need to rely on something far more solid and certain than that.

Wealth won’t do it and nor will looks (thank goodness). If they were the answer then 98% of the world would be faint-hearted! Fortunately, your value is not in what you wear, eat, own, or look like. It is in you.

This is not some wishfully airy-fairy thing. Rather, your value as a person is built in. Split into two, one is inherent and the other tied to what you do and how you feel others see you. For the most part, you only recognize the latter. So, understandably, you’re used to taking massive confidence hits. It’s how it is.

You know, I could almost say with certainty that you are not phenomenally confident. That’s because virtually everyone – even those who appear so incredibly confident – have a secret domain of self-doubt. For some it’s not a secret at all. But most of us keep it to ourselves where possible (even disclosure takes confidence).

Of course, to be confident at a high level doesn’t mean you won’t experience choppy seas. Confidence won’t provide a smooth cruise through life. Instead, there will still be personal battles with feeling rattled; at least sometimes.

But feeling confident enough that you frequently feel a healthy sense of self-acceptance offers us something so many crave but so few find. As such it is the foundation for finding your own brand of happiness. One where you have enough satisfaction to ride out life’s waves and happily live the best you have to give.

 

 

 

 

 

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