Scallywag

Good things are not done in a hurry.

~ German Proverb ~

Happy When You’re Not

December 12th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 0 secs

Do you always have to look happy to be content?

Try being happy when you are feeling downright miserable, and the result is a dismal flop. While it’s obvious the two conflict, some folk hope that by forcing yourself to feel happy, you can wipe away your pain and stop feeling wretched.

There is plenty of incentive to pursue this too. Books and gurus galore insist that putting on a happy face and adopting a be happy attitude will do it. But it doesn’t.

Apart from feeling a bit flat and getting a boost from:

  • Being with friends
  • Tidying up, or
  • Going for a walk

serious misery stubbornly refuses the most wishful and forced happy grins.

In no small part, the “C’mon! Get happy now” mantra only makes things worse. The pressure to look the part and be bright-eyed and bushy tailed can be overwhelming when ever fibre in your body tells you it’s a lie.

Putting on a happy face for the sake of approval does nothing to solve the underlying problems either. It’s like making yourself bounce up and down on a trampoline while pretending you don’t have a ruptured spleen. No amount of bouncing is going to make you okay.

But the quick fix factor is definitely appealing. If your problems aren’t about to rush off in a hurry, the promise that “You will feel instantly better with the flash of a toothy grin” is appealing.

Yet, shallow solutions aren’t much good if your partner leaves you, your family is experiencing emotional meltdown, you’re robbed, lose your money or your job. Telling someone to try to look happy at that point is at best misguided, and worst, plain offensive.

This is where a clearer understanding of what being happy really means is vital to finding your way. Living according to your values and doing what you deeply believe in is the key because they create satisfaction. In that sense, you can at least be firm in fulfilment (even if your day is unravelling in calamity).

Happy, ecstatic feelings are lovely and we all like them. But who can be constantly immersed in mirth when they are confronted with so much tough stuff? Life is hard at times and that’s normal and, sometimes, even necessary.

But that doesn’t mean living without pleasurable moments, and an underlying sense of contentment with what you can control. These things make the difference; not trying to make your self look like a happily smiling wreck.

Let your real self come through with the people who love you. Face your ordeals as best you can and celebrate every little win on the way. Be your real self as much as possible and build your happiness on what matters to you. That’s what being happy really means. Even, when you’re not.

Happy With Hassles

Can Happiness And Chaos Coexist?

Being Happy Doesn’t Take Much

 

 

 

Feegs

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