Trust is a dependency issue.

~ Edwin H Friedman ~

Happy the Best Way Every Day

May 16th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 52 secs

Can you really be happy, pretty muich every day?

Not being a constant optimist, I find some days testing. Which leads me to think: what is the best way to be happy every day? Barring disasters and dreadful events, it’s not that crazy to think you could be happy every day. After all, I believe the main reason we aren’t happy every day is because we decide with feelings.

Feelings, by their very nature, are ferociously fickle. You can be up one moment on a delirious high, then crashing back to Earth the next.  But whether you live through extremes or a much milder emotional climate, feelings are not enough to establish your happiness. Finding happiness the best way every day requires deeper treatment.

What do I mean by that? Well, like enjoying a beautiful meal, or savoring a gorgeous sunset, you need to build up your appreciation skills. They let us find happiness where others find fury. Plus, they also put some balance into the highs and lows of unpredictable feelings. That’s why I believe living the best way every day needs appreciation. Deliberately seeking out what’s good and latching onto it, does you good. Because, over time, we become what we think about.

I know some people will say this is utter rubbish. Just more happy, happy, happy talk. Life, they say, is too bad for that. For them, my response is twofold. Firstly, having a pessimistic view is the best way to be unhappy every day, guaranteed. If we want to know happiness we at least need to allow room to hold neutral views. To find its way into our daily experience, happiness needs a foothold.

Secondly, the best way to be happy every day (within reason) is to let our gift for appreciating kick in. In my book I call it “revering” – a capacity we have that goes much further than gratitude.  With it, we can be released from the tyranny of feelings. At least, to some extent. For instance, you can feel flat but happy that you’ve discovered something beautiful. Or relish the affection of a pet yet still be in a low mood state.

Those who promote the notion that you can live an up and excited life 24/7 are false-hearted or deluded. Life’s happiness’s are measured and meant to be treasured. Sometimes, it even needs sampling in bite-sized morsels that you make with deliberate and careful effort. Life, real life, is not summed up by psychological trials, fab new answers, or secret discoveries found in lost boxes. Living the best way every day is something you must choose, with all the flaws and failings you have. Because, when it all comes down to it, nobody does you better.


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