Happy Marriage Myths
The romance, the excitement, and the thrill of a wedding. Getting married is a whirlwind of delight. Plans, hopes and dreams come together into one big celebration.
Publicly, marriage announces something profound. Two people decide to dedicate themselves to each other in love. As a statement there is no contract like it. A commitment sealed with adoration.
So how come marriages fail? Mention marriage happiness and I find people either smile, laugh, or roll their eyes (sometimes all at once).
As a young camera salesman about to get married, my boss shared the news with a customer. Sternly, the fellow began wagging his finger at my nose, saying “Don’t do it. Whatever you do, don’t do it.”
Yet the world loves a wedding, doesn’t it? Not too long ago, two billion people watched Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot; celebrating the event with royal pomp and splendor. For a time the world focused its attention on romance and a young couple, daring to dream of sharing a happy life together; come what may.
Which is precisely the point.
Happiness doesn’t come from an easy ride but from who we are. Picking up where fairytales left off, Hollywood declares a good marriage is a happily ever after experience. But it’s not, is it?
Historically, marriage was meant for facing hardship. But now, marriage is portrayed as the crown of romance. Trouble is, romance isn’t particularly durable. People disappoint. Fighting hurts. With the passing of time, love too can ebb. Marriage makes us face some really tough stuff.
Yet I believe in love, and I hope you do too. Though marriage is maligned as a place of pain, it can also be joyfully happy.
Perhaps we shouldn’t expect marriage to do anything for us. Like a house, it merely lets us play out life. So our hopes and dreams must face the realty of trouble. Our passions must survive the difficulty of distraction. Growing, we need to triumph when facing despair.
I believe being happily married is a reflection; stemming from the satisfaction and meaning we bring to the relationship.
Marriage itself cannot give us happiness for long. But if we build it ourselves, we can enjoy it all our whole life long.