Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

~ Lao Tzu ~

Glad About Dad

September 23rd, 2011 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 0 secs

Make the most of your glad times

How do you feel about your father?  Does he figure as someone famous in your life? Or more of a distant figure you barely even know? Somehow, my father managed to be both to me and to this day I still gently try to prise open the mystery that he was.

Today is his anniversary. Not the glad celebration of his wedding or birth, but the remembrance of his death. Today, Papa passed away seventeen years ago.

Now my age, like my siblings, is catching up on him. Like bygone Hollywood heroes locked in time, Papa’s time is forever set. So in a strange way, we might keep on maturing to age right past him. Fancy being older than your father!

Well I’m not sure I’m glad to be gaining on Papa because it relies on his loss. But I do feel glad to catch up on his thoughts. At least, what I imagine them to be, as a grown up Dad.

I’d love to sit down with him now and shoot the breeze; glad just to watch him and his ways. To hear his take on life right now and revel in every bad Dad joke he’d tell. I’d gladly sit through it all and revel in every moving moment.

But now, no longer being his young son, I now have a new side that I’d be glad to give; the wise tenderness of being fatherly to him. Perhaps I’m still too young for that. But there is something that tells me Papa was never loved well as a child by his own Dad. It was the age and the way things were done back then. Which is why we gladly do things differently now.

Times change, but people who have passed on never do. They remain, in suspension, for as long as we remember our feelings for them.

The pain of life often falls at the feet of relationships, where it feels harder to say things with tenderness than book-toting experts would suggest. But to surrender security to honesty is ultimately a beautiful thing. Time will respect it and you will too. Having said your “I love you’s” to your nearest and dearest, despite how hard it can be is a combination of protection and glad appreciation.

None of us have each other forever, do we? So be glad if you have the opportunity to share any good feelings you have for your Dad. Perhaps, with Life’s big picture in mind, you might choose to share what you aren’t so glad about too. Either way, today is the time if you have him. If not, embellish your memories with all the glad thoughts you can muster, and be grateful you are  here to reflect. Because the ultimate gladness of growing up is to make the most of each chosen moment.




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