To turn an obstacle to one's advantage is a great step towards victory.

~ French Proverb ~

Get Friends in 7 Steps

June 20th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 3 mins, 15 secs

The simple way to get friends is by getting out and living more.

Hold your horses! You’ll get friends galore if you really want more. But don’t go off clicking crazily into the wild blue yonder. First read these tips on not only how to get friends, but keep them too.

Recluses aside, everybody wants to get more friends, don’t they? It’s natural to want to share life with people we can appreciate and who enjoy us too. Which leads me to ask an indefinite question: how many friends will do? Before I suggest some tips on how to get friends, it might be worth considering.

Mind you, some people find they get friends so easily they don’t keep count. How come? Is it luck? Or is it looks and influence that leads to making more friends?

From observation, I notice that some people just don’t know how to get friends. Sure they know in the theoretical sense. But then, they behave in certain ways that pushes other people away. Like making ill-timed or critical remarks. Or, failing to connect at an appropriate emotional level with other people.

So while going through the motions increases the likelihood you’ll have plenty of people to talk to, how to get friends is a bit more involved than a blog post can cover. After all, we human beings are complicated. So forgive me is if this isn’t deep enough to cover what is really a serious area.

But I know you’ll still want some tips anyway, because every tip you get will at least help to get friends… So:

  • Get Friends Step 1: Click Everything! Well not quite. But do join social chat sites (yes, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, to name a few.) Look for special interest groups like those on Yahoo that appeal to you. But don’t just limit your efforts to get friends online. Join groups in your local community. Think sports, faith, hobbies, music, you name it. Go on, it could be fun.
  • Get Friends Step 2: Sign Up! Yes, time to do your bit in a voluntary way and help out for a good cause. Oh, and of course, get friends along the way.
  • Get Friends Step 3: Practice Gabbling You heard me. Talk to the lamppost if necessary. But talk! Talk until you can almost talk underwater. Talk about nothing and everything, but keep talking. The point of this is to strengthen your ability to converse about anything. Shoot the breeze about the weather, the government, and even Aunt Bertha’s blue rinse hairdo. It’ll do you good.
  • Get Friends Step 4: Okay, Drop ‘Em! Time to drop your shoulders, release the tension, and relax. There’s no point winding your self up like a Mexican jumping bean ready to “get friends”. Much better to be easygoing and be yourself. So take it easy. People will appreciate you for it.
  • Get Friends Step 5: Flash Yer Choppers Yes, it’s amazing what a simple smile can do. Show people your cheeky grin and chances are they’ll get the signal you could be nice to talk to. Some people smile a lot naturally. While others find it totally unnatural and awkward. Practice smiling at the cat if necessary (borrow the neighbor’s cat if needs be) until flashing your ivories feels fine. Not in some crazed way of course. But smiling at least now and then does everyone power of good.
  • Get Friends Step 6: Two Ears One Mouth There’s a clue in there somewhere, isn’t there? Yep, listen twice as much as you speak. By all means say g’day and do a little small talk. But be ready to listen at a moment’s notice. People love to be genuinely listened to. So give them both barrels, I mean ears, and forget about your self.
  • Get Friends Step 7: How True Are You? People everywhere appreciate loyalty and reliability. That means being able to keep a secret, turning up on time, and being there when a friend needs you. Over time, all the gloss of smooth operators fades into nothingness. But personal qualities stand the test. So be someone others can trust and let your character speak for you.

Will these steps get friends pouring through your door, opening your refrigerator, and drinking all your juice? Well, they’ll help. But, seriously, if you want to get more friends talk to people you already know, whom you trust. Ask them about it because they know you (and that’s important).  We could all do with new friends. But we should never forget the ones we already know and love. As a rule of thumb, the ones you’ve known the longest deserve the most attention. After all, old friends have done enough to earn your appreciation.


Comments are closed.