Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

~ Plato ~

Funny Weather Reports

March 4th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 56 secs

Funny weather reports are the ones where you haven't got a clue what they're talking about.

Talk about funny weather reports. “Today it will be fine and sunny followed by showers. Then snow, with a strong gale force winds to follow” And that was in summer!

Tasmania gets it all. Being an island climate far down in the Southern Ocean, Tasmania lies in what are affectionately known as the Roaring 40’s. No prizes for guessing it gets pretty windy. Come springtime, it’s not uncommon to see seagulls flying backwards and chickens laying the same egg twice. That’s windy. Mind you, it’s nothing compared to windy Wellington in New Zealand.

As the capital, Wellington has it all, including winds so strong people are routinely blown over. So, while you and I might think it wild having every follicle of our hair tested for steadfastness (a few of mine got away), the locals think nothing of it:

“Morning Morrie”

“Morning Di.”

“Been blown over yet today?”

“No, not as yet. Expect I will be blown down the street after lunch though.”

Or take Alice Springs, a town in the middle of the Aussie continent. Being desert, the forecast for the week reads, Monday – fine, Tuesday – fine, Wednesday – fine, Thursday – fine, and Friday…surprise, surprise…fine.

But when it comes to funny weather reports, I have to laugh about American weather forecasters doing their nightly thing. They always dramatize the weather, waving their arms wildly, as slightly comical computer graphics fill the screen. Mention snow and they take a deep, low tone, warning, “It’s bad. Really bad.” Mention sunshine, and they’re almost capering about declaring, “It’s wonderful! Truly wonderful.”

I recall a French lass in Melbourne years ago who was famous for her funny weather reports because of her strong accent. Her reference to “sea breezies” became so popular she got a cult following.

Compare that to the ever efficient German weather report on Deutsche Welle. Full of information and that’s about it. While the British version of reporting the weather is not so much serious; more a fireside chat. You get the feeling the weather reporter is telling you a tale about how loud the wind will blow, how the coast will be lashed with rain, and how brave people will be, donning their wellies and unfurling their brollies.

Funny weather reports? If you really want something crazy, just watch what happens when a weather reader’s autocue breaks down. Or go back to the British radio comedy show, The Goons, who in one episode said something like:

“Here is a warning. There will be hendoos in the north, south, and east tomorrow, with further hendoos appearing later…”

What’s a hendoo? Well it lays eggs, of course. Which, if it isn’t too windy, will only come out once.

  1. Phineas says:

    I know what we are gonna do today!!!!

  2. Isabella says:

    Whatcha doin??

  3. doofenshmirtz says:

    This is not as evil as i expected. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!!