There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.

~ Arthur Dobrin ~

Funny, Like a Rolling Scone

February 5th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 39 secs

Funny, but I rarely fancy anything sloppy.

You have to laugh! The way companies attempt to tempt you with their tasty treats is hilarious. Thanks to language subtleties, there’s a range of alarming delicacies out there intended to tickle your tastebuds. You might feel like some hazelnut craperoll if it appeals. Or maybe a binano splat (despite the ridiculousness, I can assure you they’re real). Then again, you could try some Pee Cola from Ghana just for fun. But, like a fresh serving of aspergers, perhaps you’d prefer to pass. Still, I quite like a Golden Gaytime (an Aussie icecream that got its name back when it meant something else).

Around the world there are endless variations on familiar food themes that can outwit and confuse. Take ananas in Indonesia, which sound like bananas, but is really pineapple. Or the beer called Fat in Sweden (perfect for those nursing a beer belly). But how about Belcher’s Square Sausages from Scotland? Belching aside, it leaves you wondering how on Earth a sausage shape can be square.

To me,  however, what makes this stuff extra funny is that it’s not meant to be. Considering the money at stake, what is intended to be so serious seems sillier still.

Take Bog, a brand of canned ham from Denmark. Or Wimpy Chicken Bender from England. They are odd enough. But when you discover Japanese people happily eat Crème Collon treats, that’s surely a step too far. What were the marketers thinking? Surely, someone could have done a quick Google check to see how these names float. But clearly they don’t. How else can you explain such startling food brands like:

  • Grany Maniac cookies/biscuits from France
  • Bimbo sandwich bread from Portugal
  • Fart – candy bars and fruit juice from Poland
  • Instant Jews Ear Fungus – straight from Asia, or
  • Stik Tahu Poo – in India?

Mind you, I have to admit that I happily drank Pokari Swet by the can full, journeying in Japan.

So it is truly a funny situation. Even weirder is that when you get used to them, these bizarrely funny brands become quite benign, if not friendly. You stop seeing the silly side and just consume the stuff. Still, language is a funny thing and meaning most of all. So if you see the funny side, keep looking. Because  when you find this stuff I’m sure you’ll have a ball.


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