We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery.

~ Charlie Chaplin ~

Finding Happiness or Ego?

February 3rd, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 45 secs

You won't find happiness here. So there!

Which is it going to be? Finding happiness, or feeding a hungry ego? If it’s out of control, the very nature of a restless ego stops us finding happiness. Which is why it comes down to either one or the other.

By ego I mean that restless self we possess which, like a child, immediately wants whatever it sees, struts for attention, and then pouts when it doesn’t get its way. Without the balance of thoughtful reflection, ego’s demands can easily masquerade as seeking happiness.

So what does an ego out of control look like? Think of people who must be adored, who turn everything around to be about them, or jump into impulsive decision-making. The more strident their demands for you to stroke their vanities, the more fickle and risky they are.

Why risky? Well, if everything has to work around them at the expense of good judgment, their whims risk everything. Far beyond tiffs and personal hurt, at its extreme, an unchecked ego can lead to catastrophe. Not being able to question defective decision-making for fear of upsetting leaders means appeasing ego. Disasters like the Lehman Bros bankruptcy, the worst plane disaster in history, and the sinking of the Costa Concordia all carried the germinal seed of unrestrained ego.

Whenever speaking truthfully about reasonable matters offends, it’s a sign someone’s ego is out of check. Instead of passing important information for fear of fury or offense, we’d rather feed ego. Because it feels safer that way.

So how does a dominating or needy ego limit finding happiness? Well as long as a person can’t find lasting satisfaction in what they can offer, happiness will prove elusive. If they create an ego “force field” around them that blocks honesty, the effect acts to hobble their happiness.

That’s why personal honesty matters so much. Without it, finding happiness can only rely on what our ego wants and feeding it merely brings short-term pleasure After all, enduring happiness doesn’t come from getting but creating. That’s why the thrill of buying new and wonderful possessions wears off. Pretty soon, we go back to wanting something else to appease our need to feel satisfied.

Finding happiness relies on us knowing what we believe and what we can offer. By living with a strong sense of our own unique purpose, ego barely matters. In the everyday act of expressing your beliefs, you don’t need to spend much time finding happiness. It comes to you.





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