One joy shatters a hundred griefs.

~ Chinese Proverb ~

Erroneous Friends

May 15th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 29 secs

What do you mean, erroneous friends?

Who are erroneous friends? Are they the people you know who call themselves friends, but secretly dislike you? If so, you won’t want them. They’re more like erroneous fiends than friends. People who, like Caesar’s mates, would happily stab the sword when you’re not looking. I think we’d all pass on that.

Then again, erroneous friends could suggest their only offense is that they don’t make sense. At least, not in terms of your lifestyle and other friendships. You might live the Manhattan high life but be great mates with the doorman. Or know someone you enjoy spending time with who just happens to live on the other side of the tracks. Personally, I think that’s wonderful. I love how people make friends with other real people, regardless of status, and every other obstacle. That speaks of real friendship, instead of friends obligatory or expected.

Unlike erroneous friends of the “politically incorrect” variety, obligatory friends are predictable. They go with what people expect. Like trinkets and possessions, some people collect them for nothing more than status. Inside, they’re bereft of intimacy.

Hoarding a host of expected friends out of obligation is a bit sad.  Like popularity that comes from fame or fortune, it has little to do with deep bonds, friendship, or love. When things go to a person’s head they can mistakenly believe they need to impress. As if, somehow, that’s what friends expect. They don’t.

Perhaps that’s the magic of erroneous friends. They don’t care about impressing but treasure the relationship. Yet, whether or not friends “fit” or they don’t, the self-same relationship qualities are woven through.

That’s a sign of a rich life: loving your friends, forgiving them their follies, and celebrating your differences along with everything you share in common. Real relationships flourish like that. But what about erroneous friends with hidden agendas? Inevitably, it’s always going to be a different story. For as long as they keep their masquerade they’ll remain trapped, unable to grow. I think we’d all like to pass on that.





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