Scallywag

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

~ Yiddish Saying ~

Disappointed? Now What?

February 10th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 47 secs

What disappointment?

How do you handle feeling disappointed? Do you turn it inward and bottle it up inside, trying not to make a scene? Or, do you tell it to the world and let anyone within earshot know how you feel?

Given the inevitability that people and situations are going to let us down sometimes (if not often), it’s odd that so many don’t develop habits for handling it.

Instead, disappointed thoughts are left to the moment, where social skills and prevailing mood states dictate events. But what if we planned for setbacks?

Imagine projecting yourself into future situations where you met disappointments and rehearsed ways of dealing with them with a clear mind. What would be different? And, how would that help in building your resilience?

I know some will think that’s way too staged to be realistic. Others will also prefer to let life’s events take their course and make it up along the way. But, I believe that strategies for dealing with difficulties improve your quality of life.

It’s easy to think that you’ll work out how to cope when the need arises. But being disappointed leaves us feeling shocked, aggrieved, and, usually, too upset to do much more than survive the moment.

That is not the time to be thinking on your feet. Nor is it natural to stand aside from the situation and start thinking practically. When it’s severe, disappointment is all pervading.

So consider how you handle feeling disappointed and try deciding on, say, three ways to express yourself in these situations. You might, for example, decide to clearly affirm yourself by remembering what matters most in life. Or, perhaps you will want to have a couple of simple excuses to withdraw and process the experience. Maybe, knowing whom to call and having their number handy will be all that you need. Yet, whatever you choose, plan, and practice.

With resilience in mind, consider and rehearse situations to yourself. As crazy as it sounds, these prepared approaches will come in handy, even if the future scenario isn’t quite what you expect. Just remember: you will be deeply disappointed again about something in the future and the chances of it leaving you frazzled and unraveled are great.

But having thought about ways to better cope with:

  • Feeling profoundly disappointed with losing your job
  • Getting unexpectedly jilted
  • Feeling the urge to start blaming yourself, or,
  • Discovering you’re missing out

will increase your resourcefulness, sense of competence, and overall happiness. Who knew practicing to face disappointment could prove so useful?

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Is Pressure Upsetting You?

Secret Grief

Feegs

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