Care comes out. You can always tell when it’s there, or, when it’s not.
The waiter who goes through their obligatory patter looking absently at their watch doesn’t care. Nor does the fawning manager who just as suddenly turns off his charms as fast as he turns them on.
How often have you heard people say in all sorts of circumstances, how disappointed they were because the person they were dealing with “doesn’t care”?
This frequent lament reaffirms that care is important. When somebody cares about you, it feels comforting and even satisfying. In the presence of somebody who genuinely cares, life feels easier and, somehow, more comfortable.
Still, some people seem oblivious to their capacity to care for others. Instead, they quickly become brittle when things don’t go their way, and accuse other people for any slights they’re feeling.
Talk to the indifferent about care and they either go into blaming or look completely puzzled, as if they’ve never learnt how to relate,
To me, eliminating care is like communicating without describing words, or stripping all the feeling out of speaking. Care is so essential relationships would feel compromised. Which of course they would be.
So how can those evidencing indifference care more? Apart from people with spectrum disorder or a psychological condition, I believe the answer lies in purpose and sensitization. Observing others without judging their actions and speculating about how they feel is a good place to start. After all, the more a person imagines how others feel and checks to confirm their expectations, the more insight they can develop.
Working with a competent psychologist who can target specific approaches tailored to suit the individual would be beneficial. But spending time with more empathic people will also make a difference. If people want to boost their care levels, then more time spent reflecting and understanding care’s benefits works wonders.
Rather than accepting indifference from people we know, why not raise the bar by:
- Talking up the value in developing better friendships
- Relating with a wider range of people, and
- Receiving more respect in return?
You being a kind and caring person sets the scene for lots of opportunities to promote care’s benefits too. Similarly, by choosing not to accept unfeeling behavior in the people we know, we lift the way people are expected to relate. And that definitely makes a difference.
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