At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

~ Plato ~

Can Others Make You Truly Happy?

January 5th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 39 secs

Will they make you happy?

If you marry the man of your dreams are you going to be happy?

How about if you find your ideal friendship group?  Will your friends make you happy? And what about your parents? Does the way they treat you determine how happy you are?

I have no doubt that the more we are surrounded by kind, upbeat people, the better life can feel. We need each other’s encouragement. So a life separated from people who care about us is diminished indeed.

Yet I don’t believe other people alone will make you truly happy.

Sure, waking up in the arms of someone who loves you is blissful. And, yes, it’s wonderful to have friends and family who value and respect you. These are delightful conditions to thrive in. But there is one more factor that matters. You and I have our own mind, and that can make a world of difference.

There are times when everything seems all peaches and cream, but we are still not happy. Times when things are great and we feel blessed beyond words. But gradually, by degrees, our happiness dries up. Why?

One potent reason is that what we interpret blots it out. Imagine your mind, like a mansion, with a big front door. Standing before it is the gatekeeper. Nothing comes in without the gatekeeper’s say so.  Meaning, if the gatekeeper has been told not to trust people, or doubt the sincerity of genuine affection, then the gatekeeper will willingly stand sentry to make sure nothing comes in to contradict this belief.

Your beliefs do the choosing. So if you have room to be happy a lot, then guess what? You are far more likely to be happy. On the other hand, someone with a whole  list of rules and conditions for being happy is unlikely to see much delight in anything.

To be truly happy requires an openness to wonder and joy. Those of us who have been deeply wounded, distrust kindness and so only see what we expect. Caught in hurt, it’s hard to be happy, even if we are surrounded by its signs on all sides.

Regardless of how many happy people surround you. I believe the key to being happy is in your hand. Nobody else can tell your gatekeeper what to do, and illness notwithstanding, the happiness of satisfaction and purpose is yours to forge and furnish.


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