Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

~ Satchel Paige ~

Being Your Self

October 20th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 38 secs

Why is being yourself so hard at times?

Being your self should be the most natural state any of us could possibly imagine. And yet, sometimes, it’s remarkably hard.

What is it about being your self that is so tough? Well, before exploring that thought, perhaps we ought to define what being your self might mean. I regard it simply as that state of mind when you don’t require anyone else’s approval to feel adequate. Given how easy that sounds to achieve, why do we experience difficulty being ourselves?

Well, at the heart of it, none of us feel completely adequate. At least, not all the time. Between moments of feeling okay or good about life, we can experience periods when we feel totally uncomfortable with that inner state of balanced familiarity. Being your self on these occasions feels strained, difficult, and awkwardly unnatural.

So preparing to front up for an important meeting and being told by a helpful relative to just be your self, might seem reasonable. Yet, feeling awkward merely feeds that discomforted state. Suddenly, you are reminded of your many shortcomings; making any attempt to return to a poised normality feel impossible.

Trying to be calm and act natural ironically implies faking or forcing exactly how you don’t feel. Your self is in a heightened state of anxiety. So, switching back to your usual persona won’t work until you either calm down, or, forget long enough to reacquaint yourself with how you normally feel.

Of course, this disconnect is completely understandable and to be expected. Which is, of course, what we need to know when we aren’t feeling ourselves? By easing off on the self-criticism and hypersensitivity, we can give ourselves permission to resume our regular identity.

Combined with the understanding that these episodes are only moments in time, it’s good to know that, for most of us, these unpleasant bursts of inadequacy are short-lived. Everybody goes through times like these and it’s even okay to let your self feel uncomfortable.

Certainly, being your self is best. But we need to accept that even in those awkward moments when we feel otherwise, we are suitable too. Given, nobody feels adequate all the time; we don’t need to be anything else.

Are You An Ordinary Hero?

Why Stress When You Can Walk Out Naked?

Should You Be Your Self At Work? 


Comments are closed.