Scallywag

Comedy breaks down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe... combat some of the ugliness in the world.

~ Goldie Hawn ~

Archive for February, 2012

You can live with an ugly look. But an ugly spirit?
What's the worst kind of ugly?

Do You Know What’s Really Ugly?

February 19th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 22 secs

You can live with an ugly look. But an ugly spirit?

What’s really ugly is not so much the thing you see that might offend the eye. It’s the way people treat each other in damaging ways with cruelty, coldness, and selfishness. Read the rest of this entry »

You are an inspiration. Thankyou!
You can be someone's inspiration too.

You are Such an Inspiration

February 18th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 15 secs

You are an inspiration. Thankyou!

How come some people are so inspiring? What is it about them that makes them such an inspiration? Read the rest of this entry »

Love me, love my song.
 

So Wrong Love Songs

February 17th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 4 secs

Love me, love my song.

I love records. Mixing your own tracks from some online source just isn’t the same.

Even CDs have more character. Read the rest of this entry »

Happy returns? You've come to the wrong place.
Happy returns? Not likely.

How Many Happy Returns Have You Had?

February 16th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 1 sec

Happy returns? You've come to the wrong place.

“What do you mean they don’t fit? How can “one-size-fits-all” socks not fit? Okay, If you’re not happy I’ll take them back.”

Getting refunds and exchanges done isn’t always easy. In fact, it takes a scrap of compassion to ensure they are happy returns.  But, sadly, sympathy and sales don’t necessarily mix. Read the rest of this entry »

It's never too late for a Valentines Day kiss.
Be my Valentines Day sweetheart!

Valentines Day’s Word Massacre

February 15th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 30 secs

It's never too late for a Valentines Day kiss.

It’s that time of the year again when some people go all gooey-eyed and soppy for romance sake. It’s Valentines Day. Read the rest of this entry »

Yay for happy birthdays!
Happy birthday wishes aside, the worst thing about 50 is the fire hazard.

Can You Really Have a Happy Birthday at 50?

February 14th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 28 secs

Yay for happy birthdays!

Now if you happen to be fifty something or over, stop laughing and saying, “Can you believe this guy is fussing about fifty?”  It’s just that for everyone approaching the big five-oh, it’s a major birthday date. Read the rest of this entry »

Surely they're having a laugh.
It's a laugh. Attempting to avoid liability, some companies will print just about anything.

20 Labels to Make You Laugh

February 13th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 0 secs

Surely they’re having a laugh.

Have you ever found yourself reading a product label wondering, what they were thinking? Often, they’re so funny it’s hard not to laugh (Or should that be “cry”?). With so many laughable labels and instructions bearing silly warnings it’s hard to keep up. But for now, here’s my favorite top twenty… Read the rest of this entry »

Can you have innocent pleasure in eating what you like?
Innocent treat or guilty pleasure?

Fat…Guilty or Innocent?

February 12th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 48 secs

Can you have innocent pleasure in eating what you like?

Come clean. Did you raid the fridge repeatedly last night, stuffing yourself with plate after plate of need to keep leftovers? No? I didn’t think so. You’re innocent. But try telling that to the fat police. Read the rest of this entry »

Nothing like a stress free swim.
People go to the pool to de-stress and enjoy themselves/ Not me.

Why Stress When You Can Walk Out Naked?

February 11th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 39 secs

Nothing like a stress free swim.

It happened one day. Our eldest was just a small boy: a preschooler. He begged me to take him to the public pool. Read the rest of this entry »

Motherhood is just a part of my busy life.
"You should see me running in slow motion through grass."

Hands Up if You Want to Quit Motherhood

February 10th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 1 min, 15 secs

Motherhood is just a part of my busy life.

This is tricky. Motherhood is meant to be about endless patience, applying sticky plasters and kissing things better, and then running through tall grass in slow motion, giving a laughing grin to your kids. Actually that last one is the image advertisers keep trucking out for anything womanly. They’ve reduced you to some slow-moving bovine, deliriously jumping in the sun. It’s complete drivel. But it sticks. Read the rest of this entry »