Scallywag

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

~ Rodney Dangerfield ~

20 Labels to Make You Laugh

February 13th, 2012 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 0 secs

Surely they’re having a laugh.

Have you ever found yourself reading a product label wondering, what they were thinking? Often, they’re so funny it’s hard not to laugh (Or should that be “cry”?). With so many laughable labels and instructions bearing silly warnings it’s hard to keep up. But for now, here’s my favorite top twenty…

1. Don’t laugh but there’s a warning on Odor Eaters saying “Do not eat.”

2. Nobody would dare to laugh at the illogical behavior mentioned by a well known window cleaning spray warning users, “Do not spray in eyes”

3. But it’s harder not to laugh at a warning on a toilet plunger, advising, “Caution: Do not use near power lines”

4. Should we feel reassured by the Christmas lights warning, “For indoor or outdoor use only”?

5. And how about the electric chainsaw admonition that sensibly tells you, “Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or hold wrong end”?

6. It is a little concerning what people will do with underarm deodorant. So I guess, “Caution. Do not aim into eyes”  is sensible (especially if you place your face down into your armpit…)

7. But you can laugh at the thought of this warning on pet medicine for dogs: “Caution. Do not drive car or operate machinery”

8. Then again, some warnings make total sense. It’s just the reader’s mind that causes trouble. Like the hairdryer warning that advised, “Do not use in bath without adult supervision” 

9. Compare that to the warning on a mattress protector: “Do not try to swallow.” That’s worth a smile if not a laugh, surely.

10. While this label on a packet of vanilla sugar coated peanuts is just plain…nuts: “Warning. May contain traces of nuts”

11. I much prefer the sheer simplicity of the new car sticker that said, “Look before driving”

12. Baby oil on the other hand, must be more dangerous than we thought:  “Keep out of reach of children”

13. Whereas, a leading brand of  hair shampoo are just being honest: “Use frequently for seriously damaged hair.”

14. But the makers of a packet of nails I found at the local hardware store were surely understating things: ”Caution! Do not swallow nails! May cause irritation!”

15. I laugh, but people do these things (guess they have too much time on their hands) so the warning on a TV set saying, “Do not pour liquids into your television set or operate outdoors in the rain” probably saves lives.

16. But this? Were Apple kidding when they warned, “Do not eat iPod Shuffle”?

17. Sometimes, they’re just too keen. Take this advice on a condom packet:  “Unnecessary to refrigerate”

18. Or this label on a fire extinguisher: “Caution: non-flammable”

19. I do laugh, though, at the implications of this rain gauge label: “Suitable for outdoor use” (I want the indoor one).

20. But for complete mollycoddling overprotectiveness, you can’t beat this warning on a box of  matches: “Caution. Contents may catch fire”

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