Scallywag

None is so rich as to throw away a friend.

~ Turkish Proverb ~

15 Really Unique Birthday Wishes

March 6th, 2013 ~ Est. reading time: 2 mins, 6 secs

Fancy some unique birthday wishes for a change?

All right, none of you have asked for them but a few distinctly unique birthday wishes are coming anyway! How unique? Well, let’s just say, I’d be surprised if your brother’s friend’s cousin (who knows everything) has ever come across any of them.

As these have been handpicked by my blind, tin-eared friend Cyril, you can be assured of their unmistakable quality. And, as his incredibly unique birthday wishes have gotten him into more trouble than he will admit to, you can be sure nobody else would dare print them. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you…

  1. “Now you have now come of age, may your liver grow to touch the sky and your entrails be forever sweet.”  (soon to be forgotten Molgardian Proverb)
  2. “Birthdays bring laughter and softness to the heart. So beware if you experience a constantly ringing giggling sound in both ears and you start having heart trouble.” 
  3. “Happy birthday to you, to your camels and you. May your journeys be jolly, with no sand in your shoes.”
  4. “Congratulations on becoming older, wrinklier, and a bit more tired and worn. I am sorry this is such an unfortunate event, but happy birthday anyway…”
  5. “Nobody deserves more attention than you on this birthday. For you are the reason for all of the trouble it has taken for us to be here.”
  6. “May this birthday be the best birthday you’ll ever have. Which is another way of saying ‘You better enjoy yourself because this is as good as gets.’”
  7. “May the sheep of the fields bleat in your honor and the cows moo in majestic harmony, knowing it is your birthday today.” 
  8. “Look mate, have a bonza birthday full of fabulous stuff and enjoy a dinkum barbie with all your mates.”
  9. “May the beauty of your birthday exceed the vocal majesty of laughing hyenas, grunting reindeers, and clucking chickens combined”
  10. “What? Your birthday again! This is becoming an expensive habit. Worse still, we’re running out of candles, and you’re becoming a fire risk. Sigh! Well, what can I say but… Happy Birthday.”
  11. “Oh, what? Oh yes. Happy birthday!”
  12. “Cleave the cake and macerate it with enthusiastic joy! Today of all days is a special kind of day because you were born so we could eat cake. Thanks!”
  13. The amazing thing about your birthday is that I know exactly when it is, but every time it surprises me! Happy birthday from your regularly surprised friend.”
  14. “If I could make every day your birthday I would. But I’m worried you’d get sick of eating so much cake. So let’s keep this one day special and wish you every happiness for the rest. Happy birthday.”
  15. “The older you get the more you light up my life (which is understandable with all of those candles). Happy birthday!”

See? I told you they’d be unique birthday wishes. And they weren’t even that bad. Good on you, Cyril!

Happy Birthday Today

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Feegs
  1. A. Andrews says:

    “A Friend in need is a friend indeed”. Super cool birthday wishes mate. I really like those. The wish about “vocal majesty of laughing hyenas, grunting reindeers, and clucking chickens combined” is really funny, ha ha ha.